In the Shinigami world of famous and infamous Internet critics and memes, there was a bored Shinigami named Ben T. Looney, who was bored with all the stuff he has done in the past, like pissing off Seth MacFarlane fans, and inspiring people like Doknot1999 to do similar rants, and also giving the term "Nostalgiatard" a whole new meaning of a way intellectuals, trolls, haters, and 4chan's /b/tards can use. Also being the forerunner of how Bronies wreak of embarrassment, even though Ben was never really embarrassing himself. Anyways, he was bored and so he found his Death Note and decided if a human being could take control of it. During that, a couple of other Shinigamis were just gambling random shit that is too uninteresting to mention. "What the truck is all this spit you're gambling?", Ben said in his "substitute" for profanity language. They ignored after asking Ben if he wanted to join. As for the Death Note, it fell into Earth where we now go to our main protagonist/actual antagonist (spoilers), which will be below this paragraph.

At the Academy of Critique and Arts, we have Mr. John Enter sitting in a class. He stood and translated this, "Follow the teachings of Walt Disney and receive blessings from Siskel and Ebert on critiquing stuff and so it shall be that the seas will again become a world with no shitty cartoons or anything animated worse than a PS1 cutscene with raging storms being subside". After school, Enter is walking home and hears more criminal news. An 18-year-old girl found stabbed to death by her fucked up family from a Rhode Island city at around 11am. The reporter continued, "And in other news, suspected murderer Peter Griffin was arrested in the district of Quahog, though he escaped into Massachusetts, and framed his daughter and saying that she committed suicide". John just couldn't handle hearing this stuff. "Day in and day out, the same news on permanent repeat. This is all so ridiculous. This world is...ROTTEN" The next day, during last transition, John sees a falling notebook labeled "Death Note" coming from the sky. He takes a peak at it, "Death Note? As in a notebook of death Hmm. How to use it? The person whose name is written in the notebook... shall die! Hmm, it's pretty lame, not to mention twisted. It's really not that different from one of those shitty chain letters you get from those idiots on the internet about teenage girls or Creepypasta. A human whose name is written in this notebook. Come on. Fucking hell!". About a few seconds later, "There must be something wrong with me to even consider it. This note will not take effect unless the writer has the person's face in their mind when writing his or her name. Therefore, people sharing the same name will not be affected. If the cause of death, is written within 40 seconds of writing the person's name, it will happen. If the cause of death, is not specified, the person will simply die of a heart attack. After writing the cause of death, details of the death should be written in the next 6 minutes and 40 seconds. Hmm, so depending on the person you have in mind you can either kill them easily or painfully, huh. This is pretty admirable and detailed for a prank on cyberbullies and trolls, I'll give them that. Hmm, so I write a name and that person... dies. Like anyone would believe that. Ugh! Wait, I could even kill off a character I hate, like Peggy Fucking Hill or Buck Fucking Cluck or Patprick. If only that were possible".

"The same assailant sent a local Arlen, Texas Spanish teacher to kidnap 6 Mexican children at the border between Southern Texas and Northeastern Mexico. She also took 8 people hostage, and as according to one person, she has a ego disorder that'll get her into serious situations. The police have now identified as Peggy Hill, a Spanish teacher at Tom Landry Middle School. We expect negotiations to begin immediately", said the news reporter. "A heart attack on that ego bitch? We'll see". The reporter continued, "At the present time, that's all the police are telling us". Then, Enter decided if he could write down the suspect's name. "The hostages are coming out and they all look to be unharmed. The Special Forces are taking action, they're moving in! We don't know if the suspect's been arrested. Huh? Yes? Ok, we now have confirmation. The suspect has been found dead inside". "Dead?", Enter said. As the newscasters went on and talk about the last-minute update. As time went on, Mr. Enter killed some creepy pervert who tried to rape an innocent girl because she was hot.

Meanwhile, back at the Shinigami Realm, Ben T. Looney decided to go to the human realm, obviously known as Earth. One of the Shinigamis, John Burris AKA Mariotehplumber went, "Eh? You fuckin' goin' somewhere, Ben? Well, can you fucking tell fucking Nintendo to make me a Super Mario 64 HD remake with online fuckin' multiplayer and to stop being a bunch of hentai, waifu-obsessed Fapanese dicks? And also to tell fuckin' Sega...". Then Ben interrupted MTP with, "Yeah, yeah, I ain't gonna waste my time on that spit! I'm going to the human world, bye!" and flies away from the realm. "It's fuckin' shit, not spit, ya dumbass!", MTP yelled. Back at Earth, John came back to home, Linda Enter, his mother, expected him to be number one again and he did because people were wondering if he's smart and he is, and I need to stop responding to you people questioning about his IQ and shit, I'm writing a fucking story, so quit ruining my time, please, thank you! Now back to where we are: John went to his room, starts acting (I'm sorry, LAUGHING) like a psycho after killing thousands of random criminals nobody gives a shit about... and finds the Shinigami in his room and screams. "No reason to act surprised, my name is Ben Tanne-I mean Ben T. Looney, a Shinigami, you know, a death god. That used to my notebook. Judging by your psychotic laughter, you've already figured it out that what you have is no ordinary notebook, am I right?". Enter replied, "Shinigami, a God of Death, huh? Well, I'm not surprised. In fact... Ben, I've been waiting for you". "You gay?", Ben said. "Fuck love! I'm an asexual", John replied. "...Okay, then.", Ben replied back and then continued with, "That's interesting. I certainly wasn't expecting this. Several Death Notes have made their way into the human world in the past. But you're the first to have written this many names. Look at how many people you’ve killed in only five days. Most are reluctant to write this much. That's why they die!". "I've already prepared myself, Ben. I used the notebook even know I knew it belonged to a Shinigami and now that Shinigami has come. So what will happen to me? You're here to take my soul, right?", said Enter. "Hmm, what do you mean? I thought some fantasy you humans came up with? I'm not gonna do anything to you. The notebook becomes part of the human realm from the very moment it touches the earth. In other words, the notebook is now yours", and after the two chatted and Enter finding out Ben likes... Apples because he's obviously a Shinigami in this story, Ben ended the conversation with, "It's just as I thought, humans... are so interesting".

At school on the very next day, and after school because why not, "I thought it'd never end", the Shinigami Ben said and then continued, "How do you do this every day? It's so boring here. Hey, where're you going? Hey, John! Are you listening to me?". Quietly replying, John had to say, "Don't talk to me. Unlike you, people can still hear me when I talk out loud". "Heh, well aren't you boring". A young man (Mat Brunet/AniMat/ElectricDragon505) came up to John with, "Hey, what's up, John? We were just going to head down to the—", and then gets interrupted by Enter with, "Sorry, I'm a little busy today". "You don't have anything to do. Aren't you just going to go home and hang out in your room, as usual?", Ben exclaimed. "[Looks at Ben] What are you talking about? Of course I have something to do. [Looks at the orange fedora-wearing cartoon fan] Yes, something very important", John proclaimed. This later cuts to a news report about more violent crimes, as Enter is watching from his small TV in the same room he has in few of his videos where he sometimes shows when he's on camera like when he talked about Jimmy ScreamerClauz' Where The Dead Go To Die and Autism Speaks and their stupidity. "I can't afford to waste my fucking time! I have so much to do and my new job to kill any asshole I find in a cartoon, like Brian Griffin or the Adult Party Cartoon Ren", said Enter with Ben replying, "Yeah, that dog's a truck-I mean fucking liberal douche. You know what? I want to curse now, damn it! M'kay". Then, the door knob clicked when it stopped half way through. It was Sally Dunn, in this story, Mr. Enter's sister. "It's Sally. Uh, sis, what is it?", John had to look away to the door, as he unlocked his door. "We're doing quadratic equations in math. Sorry to interrupt, I know you're studying right now, but I'm like the only person in my class who doesn't get this stuff. Thanks so much!", Sally wasn't smart enough, despite in her actual universe, she's supposed to be the adult female child that would've known all this stuff. "No problem", John replied. After Ben tells John about if someone touching the notebook, Sally went, "Are you alright? If you wondering which problems I'm at. Pretty much all of them".

Now, let's go to the ICPO, Pink Guy sees Robert Dunn and goes, "Ey b0ss! We started meeting without you". "That's fine. I had to take an urgent call from headquarters", said Robert. As the meeting went on with random delegates, consisting of anime characters, like Eren Jaeger and Levi Ackerman, one of them, who was non other than the first one, obviously Levi himself, brought up about F2. "If that's the case, it looks as if we'll have no choice but to bring in F2". "Uh, what's F2, b0ss?", questioned Pink Guy. "Oh yeah, it's Pink Guy's first meeting. Uh, PG. We don't know anything about F2, but he has covered and taken some of the greatest mysteries in the world.", replied Robert. Then, a bald man comes out, by the name of Dade. "F2 is on the move, bruh. Now all of you shut up and be quiet and please listen to F2, thank you!".

Then, a screen, only saying F2, eventually this F2 person starts to speak. "Kon'nichiwa, ya magnificent bastards! I... am F2". Now back to those other two motherfuckers: Ben wondered, "What are we doing here anyway? I don't understand why we're sneaking around this dump. Tell me". "Isn't it obvious? Anyone who touches the Death Note will be able to see you. I can't afford to carry something this dangerous with me anymore. Up until now, I thought that if my family ever saw the Notebook, I can tell them I was keeping records of various criminals in preparation for becoming a detective as an alternate job. But I'm walking a very fine line right now. I don't want to think about it, but if I make one mistake, I might end up killing my own family and I needed them for my Growing Around project", said Enter.

Now back to Papa Fra-I mean F2: "The difficulty of this case lies on its unprecedented scope. And make no mistake. We are witnessing some loser, who could some weeaboo wanting to get fucking attention because some faggot ruined his time watching K-ON with that suspect's waifu pillow or some stupid shit, killing random people with either a Death Note or some script for some critique video. This case cannot be solved without the full cooperation of the ICPO. The best police motherfuckers who could take down that attention weeaboo or whoever is killing criminals. You people are the only ones who could help me bring that motherfucker down and execute him with electrical ramen", F2 continued. "Human ramen, b0ss!", said Pink Guy, only to be shushed by people around him, like Eren, who needs to GTFO and kill more titans. Same with Levi. "I also need the National Police Agency for contributions", finished F2. "Why do we have to be involved? Oh yeah, the killer might be in this country", examined Robert. F2 continued with, "Whether this guilty party is an individual or a group, there is a strong possibility that they are Japanese. And even if they are not, we can be sure they’re hiding in the rice fields of America and Japan". Going back to the neckbeard and the Shinigami looney, "That was easier to make than I'd thought to be", said John, still holding his... [author is told that the notebook is locked and hidden] nevermind! Now let's skip to when Enter and Ben are talking and go to the news because why not?

The announcer says, "Last night in the West Tokyo penitentiary, Brian Griffin, who was sentenced to five years for raping his best friend's wife, giving an infant herpes, and raping all of his ex-girlfriends for dumping him because he had no choice other than killing himself, was found dead at a starfish's rock. He died of a sudden heart attack, along with the owner of the rock house, Patrick Star. This seems like a new killer has the ability to kill people when the killer is not around. It's possible KIRA must be some sort of God". Then, a couple of random people started talking about this Kira person. We do not care which ones are, but a Titan comes and eats all the students... without anyone noticing. The titan was soon killed by Eren, who was shot by some random idiot because he thought that Eren was Kira. Eren was only injured and Levi took him back to Survey Corps' Special Operation Squad, while Yaoi fangirls follow them, but Levi slashed (with his sword) ALL of the Yaoi fangirls and then ran away, so he wouldn't be labeled as Kira.

"You should check this out, Ben", John proclaimed to Ben T. Looney. "Websites like this are popping up everywhere lately", John continued. "The Legend of Kira the Savior. Huh. Sounds pretty cool. Is this about you?", Ben questioned while looking at the website dedicated to Kira. "Yeah. I think they've taken the name "Kira" from the English word "killer". Can’t say I'm too happy about that, but it looks like that's the name they've decided to give me. When I search the word Kira, I'm pulling up tons of sites just like this one. The media hasn’t picked up on it. They're still calling this a succession of unexplained deaths among the world’s most hardened criminals. But...the people of the world can already sense that there’s something happening. They know there's someone out there passing righteous judgment. And I could also destroy Viacom and Fox with magical fire!", as John continued and then continued with, "Human beings are like that, Ben. Although this would probably never happen in school, let's say that students were asked to discuss whether bad people deserve to die. Well, you can bet that everyone will give the politically correct answer".

The next day, a girl says, "It's just wrong to kill people. Look what Kira did to my friends". One of the wounded Yaoi fangirls said, "I saw Levi carrying Eren like if they were married, and then he stabbed me. I've never felt so...turned on", and then, the girl faints after blood loss. The devastated girl finds a short, black-haired girl with a red scarf burning all the EreRi R18 drawings. The girl in the red scarf was Mikasa Ackerman. "Eren belongs to me. Levi would never put his sausage in Eren. Though I like seeing cute shounen ai of the two. And now, I'm gonna go back to Trost District", said Mikasa, as she gets out of Kanto. Alright, let's get back to the F2 justice part:

"That's what they are bound to say. Of course that's the correct response to give, right? Humans are always trying to maintain appearances when they're in public. That's just how we are. But this is how they really feel. Most are too afraid to support me as they’re worried about what others would think. Many would rather deny my existence. But on the Internet, where you can remain anonymous, support for Kira is growing. Maybe people are afraid to say it out loud, but they all understand what's happening. Someone's making the bad guys disappear one by one. Those who have done no wrong are cheering for Kira in their hearts because they have nothing to fear, while those who have done wrong are on the run. They are forced to hide from an unknown enemy. This is how it should be. It's perfect. Everything is going just like I planned", Enter exclaimed. The TV announcer confirms that F2 will be on camera live. "We now take you to the ICPO, live".

"I'm heading up with the International Police Task Force, which includes all member nations. I am Cleveland Brown, otherwise known as F2", said a chubby, African-American man, appearing to be in his early-to-mid 40's, dressed up as if he were Fleece Johnson/The Booty Warrior. "Criminals around the world are being murdered by a serial killer. I consider this crime to be the most atrocious act of murder in history. I will not rest until the person or persons responsible are brought to justice. Kira, I will hunt you down. I will find you...and KILL YOU with my bare hands!", continued the alleged F2. "That dumbass, he'll never find and kill me. He's from Stoolbend and Quahog, why is he trying to act like tough and shit?", said Enter, pulling out a brand new item, similar to the Death Note, called the Death Script. "I've turned this notebook into a script. Now I can write any criminal or ignorant cartoon character I can think of", John says, as he writes down Cleveland/F2's name on the new script. "Now, let's wait 40 seconds to give him an attack on his heart". "Kira, I've got a pretty good idea what your motivation might be and I can guess what you hope to achieve. However, what you're doing right now is evil". John responds with, "You think...I'm evil?...I am justice! I protect the innocent and those who fear evil! I'm the one who will become the god of a new world that everyone desires! All those who oppose that god, they are the ones who are truly evil! Now time to die. I guess you're just too stupid, L. Too bad. This could've been a lot more interesting if you'd only been a bit smarter". "Five more seconds...Four...three...two...one..." [Cleveland Brown collapses from a heart attack]. "Help! I got a heart attack. And I'm now seeing...AH! It's Loretta! [Looks at a guy next to him] Tell my wife Donna to take care [faints, dead].", Cleveland's last words.

"What's wrong? You've got nothing else to say?", exclaimed John. "FOOLED YOU, you weeaboo! I had to test this, just in case, but I-I never thought it would actually happen. Kira...it seems you can kill people without having to be there in person. I wouldn't have believed it if I hadn't just witnessed it. Listen to me, Kira. If you did, indeed, kill Cleveland Brown, the man who you just saw die on television, I should tell you that he was an inmate whose execution was scheduled for today. That was not me", as the REAL F2 comes out through voice modifier. "What? I barely watch anime", denied Enter. "The police arrested him in absolute secrecy, so you wouldn't have heard of him on TV or through the internet. It appears not even you have access to information about these types of criminals", continued F2. "Hahahaha! He got you there", laughed Ben. "But I assure you, F2 is real. I do exist. Now...try to kill me!", demanded F2. "THAT FUCKING BASTARD! He's now worse than Peggy Fucking Hell and Brian Fucking Griffin!!!", said an angered John Enter. "What's wrong?! Go ahead! Come on, right now! Kill me, you deadly bitch!", F2 continuously demands Enter/Kira to kill him. As F2 continues with, "Can't you do it? Well Kira, it seems you can't kill me after all. So there are some people you can't kill. You've given me a useful hint. A dealer to a saver. I'll tell you something that I think you'll find interesting. Although this was announced as a worldwide broadcast, the truth is, we are only broadcasting in the Massachusetts region of America and the rice fields. I had planned to broadcast this message around the world until we found you, but it looks like that won't be necessary. I know now where you are", continued, again, F2. "This L guy is pretty good", said a laughing Ben. "The police treated your first killing as an unrelated incident, but in actuality, the first of your victims was a suspect in Rhode Island. Of all the criminals that recently died of heart attacks, this one's crime was, by far, the least serious. Furthermore, his crime was only ever reported inside America. I used that information to deduce this much. You are in Japan and your first victim was little more than an experiment, which means you haven't been killing for very long. We decided to broadcast in Massachusetts first because of its large population, and, luckily, we found you", continued F2. 

Now, let's go to the ICPO headquarters: "Ey b0ss, F2 is de shit!", said Pink Guy. Robert Dunn replies, "Mmhmm. He proved that Kira exists, the deaths were murders, and that he is here in America". Now back to F2, "To be completely honest with you, I never expected it would go this well. But it won't be too long now before I'll be able to sentence you to death. Naturally, I am very interested to know how you're able to commit these murders without being present...but I don't mind waiting a little bit longer. You can answer all of my questions when I catch you...Let's meet again soon, Kira", ended F2, as the broadcast stops. "Really? He's gonna sentence me to death? Sounds interesting. I accept your challenge, F2", said Enter. "Each of them has to hunt down the other without knowing the other's name or face. And the first one whose identity is revealed will die. Humans are so much fun.", thinking Ben. 

Enter: F2...

F2: Kira...

Both: I will hunt you down wherever you're hiding and I will eliminate you!

Enter: I am...

F2: I am...

Both: Justice!

TO BE CONTINUED...